written by Ryan McMorris
Ladies, if you think you are the only ones who suffer from the perils of the dating game, think again. If you think the prospects are much better for us, you are equally mistaken. Speaking as a man in his 40’s, who is serious about settling down, navigating the field can be likened to a boot-camp obstacle course, strewn with explosive land mines. Some may say I am too picky or that my standards are unreasonable. But are they though? Don’t we all want someone who is honest, clean, loyal, kind, smart, empathetic, caring, hard-working, and all the other usual adjectives that fit the bill? Don’t we all want someone who we are compatible with on sexual, spiritual and emotional levels?Don’t we all want someone with a finely tuned moral compass? In choosing a partner, I don’t think seeking out those attributes should be considered demanding at all; it is purely common sense.
We are now living in a social space where it seems basic, human decency is the exception and not the rule. Social media platforms have made narcissism not only acceptable, but it seems it’s also a crucial trait, if you want to stand out; which after all, is the point for some people. Most persons are trying to create highlight reels to compete with other highlight reels and after a while, it gets really dull and boring. But hey, to each their own. Don’t get me wrong, there are numerous benefits to social media. Among the plethora of positives, it gives keen insight into what each of us value most, if you know how to look; so it can be a useful filtering mechanism. Our public lives may vary from our social lives, but I’d be willing to argue that our social media accounts paint a relatively accurate picture of who we are deep down.
None of us is perfect and for me, there is the constant struggle between satisfying the carnal urges versus sticking to the unscripted adventure of finding a partner. Can you imagine how tragic it would be to miss out on a beautiful relationship because I was engaged in a fruitless pursuit of fun? There are trade-offs that must be accepted because it’s not a perfect world. If I choose to satisfy an urge and run the risk of missing out on that prospective partner, that’s a loss I will have to live with and so must everyone else. It is scary how low people’s standards have become and age is no longer a determining factor for virtue or integrity.
Women who are seeking a male life partner also need to understand the elements they’re up against. If you think a man is a viable catch, chances are, you won’t be alone in that thought. There are young, physically attractive girls, who are ready to play for pay. And even though this is not a new phenomenon, it has never been as advertised or promoted as it is being done these days. The absence of pressure and responsibility that comes with these sexual arrangements can dilute the desire for the average man to want an actual relationship in the first place. The subset of people who are looking for real, wholesome relationships exist in a universal set of debauchery and it makes it ridiculously difficult to find each other. But if I had to choose between being with a beautiful, decent, kind-hearted woman who demands my respect, pushes me to grow, wants to build a future together versus a pretty, popular girl, with little or no morals, that everyone’s either chasing or has already had, I’d choose the woman, any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
So ladies, while we all have to accept that we’re living in a social world, don’t try to enter the highlight reel of the social media Olympics. Let your social media accounts be more substantive and less superficial because you just never know if your soul mate will come a clicking.
