More than five years ago, we saw many women claim the titles “Plus Size” and “Fluffy” as they proudly displayed their voluptuous bodies. This self awareness led many to self acceptance and self love that was missing for decades, as being too weighty was frowned upon. Overtime, many plus sized women emerged on the public scene making no apologies for being larger than life itself!

I can proudly say that I was one of those women. Having hated my body at a young age due to constantly comparing it to my ‘slim girlfriends’; I found solace in the world finally seeing us for who we are- big, bold and beautiful. We now readily hashtag our photos with #curvy, #plussize, #bodypositivity, #bopo, to name a few and represent for all plus size women. Notwithstanding the positive aspects of being a plus size woman, I cannot help but notice those who fall into one or more of the categories listed below and have to ask out loud, “Is there a thing as “too much self love”?”

1. Plus size but Unhealthy

We cannot simply look at the size of a body and tell that it is at risk of suffering from a health condition, however, it is not surprising that some plus size women are overweight and unhealthy. Research has shown that plus size acceptance might prevent overweight adults from recognizing their weight gain and promote unhealthy habits. The body positive movement has also been blamed for normalizing unhealthy behaviours that promote obesity and it encourages complacency of those women who are at risk of the health consequences of being overweight. Despite going to the gym to maintain a healthy weight, I have been asked why I’m going, because my fat “fit” me and that I don’t need to lose too much. Some plus size women bask in these compliments and remain unhealthy.

2. Plus size but Fetishized

There are too many online stories shedding light to fat fetish. Some men are only interested in our thick thighs and huge breasts. I’ve heard experiences from some of my plus size friends who shared that men have out-rightly stated their interest in an only sexual relationship. These same men would never let their friends know that they are interested in full figured women. And sadly, some of these women put up with this type of attention because they feel they have to settle. They proudly laud casual sex while hiding behind their sad reality.

3. Plus size- Not Your Size

We can show the world that we love our bodies but let’s be real, we cannot always fit in. We were made to stand out and naturally, we already do so as plus size women. What’s with wanting to wear skimpy crop tops and ultra short shorts to prove that we love our bodies? And no, I’m not saying we should wear the longest black frock hidden in the back of the store. There are too many options of trendy plus size clothing for us to be squeezing and jumping into small fits. Let’s also be mindful that plus size women have varying body shapes. Identify the category you fit in and learn which type of clothing is best.

4. Plus size- Stop Criticize

Do you remember how it felt to be teased about being too big, too fat, too slow, too heavy? Admittedly, it hurt! So why are we body shaming slim women? The hypocrisy lies in this type of behaviour. We cannot love our big bodies so much that we cause slim women to hate theirs. Body positivity is not only about loving your own body but also appreciating other body types.

I know there are healthy plus size women thriving in romantic relationships, dressing well and uplifting other women no matter their size; but some are overly confident and obviously turn a blind eye to these issues at hand. We must assess ourselves and adjust accordingly. Refrain from following the hype and practice true self love.

What are your thoughts?