Part 1 – Friend or Foe? We hope when we get to the end of this 2 part feature you will be able to answer the question.
10 Characteristics of a GOOD friend (according to the bible)
We all can agree that a woman’s circle of friends is just as important as her family; the only difference is she may not be able to choose who she is related to.
Friendships bring a sense of fulfillment and security as friends are confidants, psychologists, nurses, doctors, partners, and soldiers if and when push comes to shove. As the saying goes ‘no man is an island”, in our case woman; we need people in our lives, this goes beyond our emotional need for someone to talk to. Studies have shown that persons with long-lasting, healthy friendships are happier and more successful in life.
So we can safely say, friends influence more than what outfit to wear on a date. They influence life decisions, your perspective, and even your work ethic. This is why it’s important to know who you ‘choose’ as a friend and also the level of access or intimacy a friend is given in your life.
Associates vs. Friends
Before we even get to the characteristics, let’s be clear on who a friend is.
We live in a time where (I believe) the word ‘friend’ is used loosely. It seems the sacredness and important meaning of the word has been diluted, but we must not confuse friends with associates.
A friend is a person that you not only associate with, but you build an intimate bond with. Friends are next to family, that means you share intimate details of your life with them and vice versa. You spend time doing what you both love even if it’s nothing exciting; and you value that person’s opinion so much that it can influence and change decisions you make.
An associate on the other hand is someone you are connected to, whether by social standards such as work, church, community, etc. You may speak to this person from time to time or even on the regular, but, they only know the basics of your life. This is not someone you confide in or give personal information to. This is not someone you have over for a glass of wine and girl chat. These are persons that you have chosen to communicate with, but not be friends with. It’s an amicable relationship but not an intimate one. If you have been treated like anything listed above, know that you are an associate and not a friend.
Now, believe it or not, the bible values friendship so much that it has several nuggets to help you become the best friend you can be. It may astound you how concerned about our associations and circles God is.
Hopefully, by the end of reading this, you will know whether you are in the right circle or not. Let’s get into it, shall we?
A good friend is FRIENDLY.
Proverbs 18:24 says “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly…” You might be saying “duh people should be friendly.” Well, believe it or not there are some ‘friends’ that are rude, disrespectful, and pessimistic. They can’t get along and are always in a bad mood. This is not a good friend. There may be underlining issues such as jealously unknown to you, that causes this behavior towards you and others and you may be entertaining a snake instead of a friend.
A good friend CORRECTS YOU.
If you have a ‘friend’ that always says yes to everything you do no matter how dangerous and self-sabotaging, then you have a foe and not a friend. Your friend should not always agree with you and they should be able to correct you when you are going down the wrong path or about to make a decision that will hurt you. Proverbs. 27: 6 (AMP) says “Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern], But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful [because they serve his hidden agenda].” A foe always has a hidden agenda and will never correct you or steer you from wrongdoing. They want to see you fall, get hurt, and look worse than they do.
A good friend doesn’t JUDGE YOU.
Whilst being corrected is a characteristic of a good friend; know that correcting should always have the motive for being better and not for bringing down a friend, motive matters. A good friend doesn’t judge you and look down on you. They love you despite your flaws and are willing to help you be the best version of yourself. If you have a ‘friend’ that can only love you in the good times and stand with you when you are doing well, then that’s not a friend. (Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loveth at all times…”)
A good friend should be a GOOD INFLUENCE.
Prov.22:24-25 “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”
This is how important it is to choose your friends wisely. A good friend should influence you to soar, succeed, live your best life and make wise decisions. Who you ‘walk’ with influences how you walk, how you talk, how you think and who you are. Choose friends who uplift you and are a reflection of who you want to be in life. ( Proverbs 27:17 – Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend)
A good friend is CONFIDENTIAL.
Being in a friendship you will share a lot about yourself, things that no one knows, not even your spouse or family member. It is a great responsibility as a friend to be confidential. Even in times of falling out, a friend should never repeat a matter to someone else without your permission unless it’s life and death.
If you can’t trust your ‘friend’ with your secrets, then that’s not a friend. Prov.17:19 “He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.” A friend should cover you with love and be a confidant. It is not enough to choose someone you mesh well with or share common goals with, you have to consider all the factors before you get into or let someone into your sister circle.
READ PART TWO OF WOMAN CIRCLE: FRIEND OR FOE? HERE
Written by Candicia Pryce : Follow her on IG at christlyinspirations.
So refreshing, this article allowed me to take a step back and analyze what true frenship is about, God bless this writer, I look forward to more amazing content. Good read
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Fantastic article. Well written. Easy to understand and relate to. Very acccurate! Indeed I learnt from it. God bless the writer. I would love to read more articles from this writer. Very talented.
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Really relatable points raised regarding friendships! Food for thought….
Indeed They are, some excellent points were raised!
Very well written…..
will let her know!
This was an amazing read, I love it!
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Wonderful article. Realy talks about reality and what we encounter with as women. Continue to inspire Candecia.
Really inspiring, on that we agree!
Great points God bless you woman of God
Hi sister, congratulations, how can I get your magazine?
Love it! Keep on sharing knowledge and inspiring, Candy. Love, Dessi-Ann
This is so true Candy!
Wow, I enjoyed reading, it really was refreshing. I love how simple and concise this article is. It is well-written and informative.God bless you Candy. Keep writing 🙂
I enjoyed reading this, it really was refreshing. Well-written, informative and concise! God bless you WOG. Keep writing 🙂
Awesome and inspiring truths! Relevant for all when choosing friends! Bless you Candicia…
Wonderful! Good points I love it!
Awesome stuff esp regarding Associates vs Friends that hit home….will have to re read as this something that requires self evaluation onna continuous basis.
Succinct and full of life. This is not an article, it’s a Word Of Wisdom. Great Piece.
This was a good read. Definitely worth bookmarking.