Lead Like a Boss
The first glimpse into my future self came through the stories I read as a child. Of, going to sleep and being awakened with a kiss from my prince charming. There is also the story where my fairy godmother visits and transforms me into a princess who gets transported to a glitzy affair in a royal carriage that was originally pumpkins; where I dance the night away with my prince charming. Better yet, I remember hoping to have long, shiny and beautiful hair like Rapunzel; a young girl trapped in a tower. She allowed the prince to use her hair to climb up the wall of the tower and visit her.
Alas! I would later find out those were fairy tale stories, and as I got older, the realities of life became scary. I realized that the customs and mores of a particular culture determine how women are seen and treated. A culture that may marry us off to a man we do not know before knowing ourselves. Or, a culture that teaches us that our place is in the home. Here, we learn to forget about ourselves and cater to the needs of others. It did not matter if we got married or remained single; our realities were the same. Forget you and remember everyone else.
Compared to men who usually don’t; some women have an internal struggle as they move into leadership positions or positions of greater authority. It does not help that men are usually taken more seriously. Do you see our challenges?
We are grateful to the women of the past who have done their best to remove the outdated stigmas. And as women today walk in their footsteps, we are changing the narrative of how society sees us and how we must lead. Today more women are occupying leadership positions as compared to men. A prime example is the very first female Vice President of the United States of America; who could become the first female President of the United States–imagine that.
Let us allow a moment of silence on that thought. The bottom line is; we must not focus on the idea of a woman’s place is in the home and subservient to a man. Instead, we must turn our attention to a possible fact, that one of the lengthiest conversations that Jesus had was with the Samaritan woman at the well. It says that, despite society’s norms, the greatest man that walked this earth valued us, and we must act accordingly.
We must put in a disclaimer – this post is by no means feminist; we acknowledge our supporting role to our men and the nurturing women we are. Like the Proverbs 31 woman, we believe we can have all that we want; and we can function effectively in our roles, especially the one of Leading Like A Boss in 2021, whether we are business owners, corporate executives, or otherwise.
With all of that said here are 6 ways that women can lead like a boss starting today and onwards.
1. Practice Mindfulness/Meditation
Have you ever tried to sit quietly for 5 minutes with focused concentration on a particular thought? Or find when in prayer that your mind wanders in a different direction from your intended one? In a world that demands our attention 24/7, we become easily overwhelmed and without focus to accomplish those kick-ass goals that will impact lives. Imagine getting up in the morning with a to-do list, and end the day with only one ticked-off item. Simply because we had to take that call, or we suddenly realized the kids need something for school. Many things demand our attention, and there must be a point that we come to where we can narrow down, focus, and prioritize.
According to an article in Harvard Health – “Mindfulness improves well-being and supports many attitudes that contribute to a satisfying life. Being mindful makes it easier for us to savor the pleasures in life as they occur. It helps us become fully engaged in activities, and creates a greater capacity to deal with adverse events…” Becoming mindful helps us stay rooted in our present without feeling guilty over the many other things we need to get to before our day ends. Mindfulness creates a peace that enables more control, and our response to life looks like composure and action. Do the research, then make the practice of being mindful a part of your daily routine.
2. Take Control Of Your Health
The question is – if you are in a hospital bed, how do you serve? We must take the initiative today and become proactive with our health. This is us also being mindful of what we consume –are we eating to fuel our body, mind and spirit? What about annual checkups to help manage our longevity and the overall maintenance of our health. Is exercise in the picture? Taking control of our overall health will allow us to boss up and take charge of our affairs and the affairs of those we serve.
3. Live Like Everything Is Rigged In Your Favor.
Think about it, inhale with a deep breath and think about the possibilities. What would you do if there were no fear, no insecurities, no giving in to false notions-, think about it. What would prevent you from using your superpower and making this world a better place?
4. Be The Empathetic Leader Stay connected.
Former US President, Barack Obama said, “The biggest deficit that we have in our society and in the world right now is an empathy deficit. We are in great need of people being able to stand in somebody else’s shoes and see the world through their eyes.”
Showing empathy demonstrates that we can understand what another person is going through. It encourages equity in our interactions because we no longer make decisions based on self and how self-interprets. Instead, we view situations from different angles and perspectives. As more women recognize the need to rise in their respective circumstances and take care of the community; the community and the people will flourish. As women support women, we will build a stronger coalition (of women) who will contribute their expertise to the growth and development of their homes first; then the community, then the world at large. We must not hide from this responsibility; but must move beyond the self-focused stance and work together to heal this world through empathy in a way that only we can.
If that is not becoming a boss lady, then I am not sure what is.
5. Take a woman with you Facilitate the growth of others.
On more than one occasion, I have witnessed what true collaboration between women looks like. It usually ends with joy at helping another woman succeed. It is a collaboration free from what can you do for me? To, more women coming together without expectations to execute an idea, vision, or goal. That is the space of true and pure collaboration that we must strive towards collectively in a way that allows all of us to win. As women, we must build each other, so the next generation sees us doing that and continue on the same path.
Do you know about The Shine Theory? Well, if not, here is what it is all about – Shine Theory coined by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman is “an investment, over the long term, in helping someone be their best self—and relying on their help in return. It is a conscious decision to bring your full self to your friendships; and to not let insecurity or envy ravage them. https://www.shinetheory.com/
And so, when you shine, I shine. When you take me with you, we both succeed. How we shine will play a role in how we boss up and lead in 2021. Let us change the narrative to YES we support each other by tossing aside the insecurities and dive right into the pool of collaboration.
Let us create a girls’ club similar to the boy’s club we know we want.
6. Be Solution Oriented
Hands in the air if you have witnessed a complaining woman? That is not boss lady status – we become boss ladies when we see solutions to challenges and even in situations that are not challenging but may need to be improved.
“Leaders are solutions conscious. They don’t complain. You would find them repeating this common question; “how will it be done, and by who?” ― Israelmore Ayivor
In an article by Leslie Jaynes on “Why we must all be Solution-Oriented”, he writes “as soon as a problem surfaces, we must trigger a spirit of optimism that fuels us along our path to solutions. We must discipline ourselves to be hungry for solutions. The motivation to push past the obstacle in front of us should come from within and that takes a real paradigm shift…” So now, who will you be?
Alright, enough thinking – do it. Everything is working for you.
Do The Inner Work, then Lead Like A Boss!
My guess is when you saw this title, you expected a different direction, but understand that we cannot master anything if we do not master the woman in the mirror and the reflection we look at every day. The image that knows our shortcomings, and so the six proposed ways are a few fundamentals that we must address to become the boss ladies of 2021. The ones who moved forward and built a dream team that supports all we desire–to be impactful and create a legacy that we can all be proud of by doing the inner work. If we tap into what makes us unique, we can lead like a boss where we are. Incorporate these suggestions and get on the path that leads you to boss lady status.
Guess what – you are already one.
I close out with Roman 8:28 – “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”
- Contemplations of Self: A Weekend of Solitude and Reflection
Read Time: 3 minutes: Contributed by A. Buchanan-Henry A few weeks ago, I had the absolute pleasure of being home alone for an entire weekend. This might not be a big deal for most, but to a forty-something-year-old mother of a five-year-old boy… Read more: Contemplations of Self: A Weekend of Solitude and Reflection
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