It’s pretty nerve-wracking for some of us who are approaching the age of thirty. We joke around about our age “dropping off the calendar” but it’s really another important decade in our lives. It’s a time when we sit down to analyze what we have achieved. A good number of us experience anxiety because our checklist has only a few boxes ticked. So we lament and automatically compare ourselves to our counterparts as well as our parents, in an effort to see if we really wasted time and money or the universe was just working against us.

The timing of the milestones we hit is the result of many factors; to include our socialization, family or parental social status, religious and cultural beliefs, and the economy. Unlike the aspects of physical development that are predictable; the popular milestones such as buying a house, having children and getting married, do not follow a specific timeline. Society has not made it easier by suggesting ages by which these milestones should be experienced- many by the age of 30yrs. It is important to note that these milestones have great social significance; and when we do not reach them, we fall in distress. The generation in which we are born may very well be the cause for some of us not hitting milestones “on time”.

Generation Y/Millennials
This generation is comprised of persons born between 1981 and 1996. Some sources include persons born in the early 2000s. Either way, those soon to be 30yrs old are a part of this generation also known as millennials. Millennials constantly challenge status quo. They prefer to rent houses, date longer or date online and put off having children; but many still aspire to reach these milestones sooner than later.

Below are 3 reasons why millennials are not reaching the milestones mentioned above.

1. Too much Tech
Unlike our parents, many of whom are baby boomers, we grew up in a time of technological explosion. We love technology. On one hand, we have allow technology to replace all forms of physical interaction and on the other, we cannot even get online dating right. Prince Charming is really handsome on our phone screen. At best, he may be so much cuter in person and at worst, he may very well be our female cousin catfishing us. We rather text than have long phone calls, everything is fast-paced. While technology may be an asset in forming our own business; it may be our downfall in starting and maintaining a romantic relationship.

2. Flexibility
Millennials love flexibility. We want to set our own rules. We enjoy multitasking. I’ve seen ladies at the gym watch a movie while working out. Ladies, think on this. Could it be that a lack of commitment or fear of feeling stuck have caused us to delay buying our houses or getting married? For a good while, I wrestled with the thought of having to choose a location for my house. What if I get a job elsewhere? What if I get tired of living in that location? You may be thinking you will be bored with one man and will have to commit to children which will limit your freedom. Let’s acknowledge it. A lot of us are miserably “stuck” in inflexible jobs because it’s hard to gain other employment as quickly as we would want. We suffer from burn out and sacrificing every part of our lives for work. Overall, the thought of voluntarily settling down is daunting.

3. Attention-seeking
Women in general love compliments and gifts. These all come from the attention we receive, whether wanted or unwanted. Attention yields comparison. As a millennial woman, you may realize that you enjoy the attention you receive from social media. With each swipe, there is constant comparison.

How does this hinder us from reaching milestones? We are always working to be the better, the richer, the smarter woman. We jump from Jim the gardener, to Tom the businessman; only to find out Tom did not have our best interest at heart. Then we have to start all over again because Jim moved on. We have not finalized our deposit on the 2 bedroom house because we are certain we can find more money for a 3 bedroom house similar to or even better than the one our friend purchased. All of this running around leaves us with nothing.

Conclusion
Interestingly, these milestones were set by a generation nearly a century ago. Researchers of The Milestones Project have explained that many of the norms about the age at which certain life goals should be met were set around World War II. Ladies, remember that society has changed but these norms have not. The question – is Millennials being set up to fail? This American study concluded that when it comes to getting married, owning a home or starting a family; Americans between 25 and 34 years of age remain the least likely to do so despite their intentions.

My general advice is to stay in your lane. Chart your own path for success. Slow down and take it one goal at a time. See which Gen Y trait is hindering your progress and improve. Congratulate yourself for the goals you have accomplished. Do not rush milestones or feel bad because you did not reach them at the ages prescribed. You will save yourselves and others from divorce, bankruptcy and emotionally scarred children.

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